From My Heart to My Crush: Nzilani

You never really had forty days “Alibaba”. Caught you the first day you had your eyes on me even though nine weeks later you still thought you’re that one sly guy. You’re no gangster. Neither are your “photochromatic” glasses five minutes after you get into the hall. I could literally feel your gaze everytime I walked into the hall and it gave me goosebumps I’d start to fidget. Getting to my sitting place was a risky bet not to trip on the stairs and I’d cuss a little when I got there. I’d wish it was the Lord’s prayer instead but for the kid’s sake and the wholesome innocence of Nzilani….”Amen!”.

I’ve been patient with you. Not like Jacob but more than I have been with anyone else and for some reason I thought you’d actually come say hi. I guess as not every hero wears a cap, not every clown wears a nose. I’d see you everyday walking with a certain clique. You’d cocoon yourself with them you barely interacted with anyone outside that circle. Can’t blame you much. I’d do the same thing only that my circle isn’t really much of a cocoon. Probably a straight line that’s not even enough to stir some traffic on the narrowest path around Chiromo. But I didn’t want a cocoon, just a two letter word and probably my anxiety would pick up from there! Perhaps I’ll pass out but we’ll never know.

You’re not that tall, about 5 ‘7 but we’ll work with that. Chocolate skinned with a face that’s probably never seen its worst moment other than that meh look you have in Dr. Juma’s classes or the frustrated looks after the periodic Friday Progressive Assessment Tests. A complex smile and a whole lot of charisma that radiated miles away from you. But the fast feet. Lord the fast feet!!! Not once I had finally gotten the perfect excuse to talk to you because it somehow seemed I’d have to give luck abit of a push apart from myself. But it always looked like your feet had an excuse of their own. Where do you rush to anyways? I’d want a chase…. yes, but if it’s I doing it I think I’ll just wait and recite my Lord’s Prayer because what the Amen is that! I just want to give “your” pen back!

However thank God it’s Friday. Surviving a week in Med School has been an extreme sport with my mental health the last few weeks. I have a few hours to my lesson with Dr. Juma before officially calling it a weekend. I’m barely holding up this week so I just want a quiet place for myself but, as fate would have it, you remember the “I’d have to give luck a push”, it was luck’s turn for the push. There you were, and for once…. caught your feet flat footed. Pun intended.

“Hello, I’ve been wanting to say hi, Kelvin right?”

Then you go blank.

(Cover photo credits by Karen)

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