From my heart to my crush,
SOMEONE OUT THERE HATES ME!
My thoughts abandoned me. I lost my alphabets and for a second I could just stare. “Ah! Hey… Hello…. Yes…. A while!? Sorry….. Hellooo!” – And it’s at that moment, that I knew, I had fucked up! – Dropped all my marbles at the very time I so much needed them. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go! What kind of sick cheat code is this? Life was in full on pro mode doing through ball passes and I hated it. Well I loved it, but it wasn’t supposed to be the “Hey, have you met Ted?” kind of through pass! Karma you b……
I was trying to maintain my cool but you were all kinds of flame. Also, my alpha neurons were probably misfiring because I was all sorts of weak. “I’m Nzilani”. Ofcourse, your African name. Call it plagiarism for I was having my play, fully scripted, getting acted to me! What kind of sick joke is this! Then you smiled. OH YOU SMILED. Call me Rona for I don’t want a vaccine for this infection!
I managed to sustain a few words words. Speaking intermittently in a cog wheel fashion like a child learning to speak. My Broca’s area clearly loosing it because nothing I talked matched whatever I was thinking. But you seemed to be enjoying this. You knew what you were doing to me and flaunted even more. Einstein stepped in with his relativity and even though it had only been a minute, it seemed to have lasted an hour.
Maybe this isn’t bad at all. Yes, I’m full on clown mode right now and probably about to honk my nose but this is actually, not bad. You look even more beautiful up close. Your hair a graceful cascade on your back. Standing full height infront of you I notice you weren’t as tall as I thought you are. Just perfect. Your handshake was a firm one but soft enough to know you felt it too. This feelings I’m feeling right now. A cocktail of admiration, shock and splendor. Now to all the clowns out there, you know those were the punchlines right?
“Were you going in for the next lesson? Dr. Juma is about to shrink a month in 2 hours.”
Photo by Florian Klauer